The Joker Between Decks
by Miazaki-san
Summary: A Hoshido AU! where Kamui wasn't there to save Jakob, so he was left to fend for himself in a world that rejected him from the beginning


**A/N: I finally got this done! Holy moley! Anyways, this fic is written in honor of kashimalinwho created the idea and encouraged me when I was having doubts about writing this. Thank you so much for your imagination and being a great inspiration! I hope you enjoy this! And to be noted, I'm not Japanese, so any Japanese I use in this fic is completely taken from the internet. So please don't hate me if something is horribly mistranslated.**

 **And warning: there is a good bit of violence, abuse, and very minor sexual content (no sin….YET ahaha). It is not extremely graphic but I figured I should give you guys a fair warning if it bothers you.**

 **Anyways, please enjoy reading! I hope you guys like it!**

* * *

He had been born Jakob Nathaniel Chamberlain, son of aristocrats Gabriel and Elonis Chamberlain. His father was an important politician while his mother was a distant relative of the King. His father also was an esteemed knight, and his mother was the best mage in all of Nohr.

To be honest, Jakob wasn't completely sure which was true; the servants never gave him a straight answer.

Even though he lived in the same house as them, Jakob had only seen his parents from afar. Both of them were tall, thin, and walked in a stiff, upright manner. They never called out to him or even smiled in his direction. In truth, they ignored him completely. And, for as long as Jakob could remember, it was always one of the maids who came to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight.

In fact, it was only the maids who acknowledge his presence at all. It was a maid who taught him how to walk, to read, and other things a parent should teach their son. When he asked one of them where his parents were, they always replied with, "Your mother and father are very busy, young master. If you want to be a good son, behave yourself and do not bother them".

So Jakob made sure to be on his best behavior, praying that one day he would come down to breakfast and find his parents sitting at the table with warm smiles. His father would pat his head gently, and his mother would hold him close and ask if "her little boy" slept well. Then they would laugh about silly things and make plans to go on picnics in the garden.

That was all he wanted: to be acknowledge by his parents and feel like he was part of a family.

But day after day, Jakob ran down the stairs with high hopes, only to be greeted by an empty table. So he would sit at the large table and eat his porridge, complaining how salty it was as tears dripped down his cheeks. Then the maids cleaned him up and dressed him before leaving the boy to his own devices. Jakob would sit in his room for hours, playing with his toys or drawing in his sketchbook. Sometimes a maid would take pity on him and play a quick game of catch, but Jakob usually spent the days by himself. In his sketchbook, he drew page after page of chicken scratch that made sense only in the mind of a child. Sometimes he drew the maids or the black roses in the garden, but Jakob most often drew pictures of him and his parents. After he finished with each 'masterpiece', Jakob would hold the page of smiling stick fingers to his chest and pray for his drawings to come to life.

"Please," He begged, his tears smearing the drawings. "Just once…smile and call me 'son'. That is all I ask."

But as the years passed, his wish never came true and Jakob found he had no more tears to shed. He stopped running to the dining table; stopped hiding behind pillars in the hope of spotting his parents, and he stopped asking the maids to read him stories about happy families.

'What is the point?' He ripped his drawings to shreds, a pile growing beside him.

'Only fools wish for the impossible.'

* * *

When Jakob was eight, he overheard maids gossiping about how his parents' position in the aristocracy was crumbling, and how they were planning to offer a gift to the king in order to stabilize themselves. From his seat at the window, Jakob wondered what this gift would be before shaking his head and staring back out to the garden.

'Why should I care? It has nothing to do with me.'

Then, not even a week later, a maid shook Jakob awake and told him his parents were waiting in the carriage. Disoriented, he allowed her to quickly dress him before pushing him out into the hallway. In the back of his mind, Jakob thought if he was going to the carriage, that meant he was going on a trip. So, why didn't the maid pack a bag for him? And why were his parents coming with him?

He didn't have time to ponder on this before he was shoved inside the carriage and put face-to-face with his parents for the first time. All traces of sleep had been eliminated as Jakob gaped at the couple across from him, barely noticing the carriage had started to move. Both of them were staring out the window, not paying attention to each other nor him. Now, in close proximity, Jakob could see their features clearly. His father had high cheekbones and a mole on his nose that stood out on his pale skin, while his mother had a round face and full red lips like ripe strawberries. Both had short hair, were dressed in black (like most Nohrians nobles), and wore the Chamberlain family crest on their rings.

Jakob didn't know what to do, debating whether he should speak up or not. Instead, he settled for staring at his knuckles and listening to the deafening silence.

'…I have Father's hair and Mother's eyes.' He thought to himself, biting back a smile. 'We actually look alike.'

Jakob's chest warmed, and he began to think his dreams weren't for naught after all. Maybe…..just maybe his parents might love him too? Though he was still angry at them for neglecting him, Jakob still loved his parents and always desired to stand beside them one day.

To be a part of a loving family.

Suddenly the carriage jerked to a stop and his father leaned forward and opened the door.

"Get out." He whispered, his cold tone making Jakob's hair stand on end.

These were the first words his father had ever said to him.

And it was to tell him to 'get out'.

If he wasn't so surprised, Jakob would've wept.

Nodding, Jakob scooted out of the carriage, finding himself in front of Castle Krakenburg. Confused, he turned back towards his parents, only to see the carriage already halfway down the path.

He'd been abandoned.

Realizing this, any child would've screamed or cried at being thrown away by their own parents. But he didn't. Jakob just felt cold as he gently placed a hand over his chest, feeling what little remained of his hopes shatter. It was all over. He no longer had a family.

He never had one to begin with.

Loud footsteps approached him from behind and he turned to see a stern-looking woman in a dull gray dress and wrinkles at her mouth.

"You must be the new recruit, Jakob, correct?"

All he could do was nod, his fingers tingling.

"You are no longer a part of the Chamberlain family, so you will not be referred to as such. You are no better than the rest of the servants, so don't expect any special treatment."

How could he expect something he never had? Jakob wanted to laugh at the woman's reasoning, but he just nodded again.

'She has the royal family crest on her collar. That means…. **I'm** the 'gift' for the king. That I'm property now.'

"Has your tongue been cut off? Answer me!" The woman snapped, causing Jakob to flinch back involuntarily.

"…Yes, ma'am." He gulped, struggling to maintain eye contact. 'Be strong, Jakob. Please be strong.'

"Hmmm. Good. Follow me then." And with that, the woman turned on her heel and walked back into the castle.

And so Jakob, now without a title, trailed after her, hoping there might be something worthwhile in his new life.

* * *

Jakob had been stripped of his noble wear and given a butler's uniform that was three sizes too big. Since the maids had always dressed him, the buttons on his vest were misaligned and his sleeves were awkward rolled up. The woman from the gate, Ms. Fiona, just shook her head at his state and told him to follow her, his old clothes bunched up in her arms.

The last remaining part of his former identity.

As they weaved through the hallways, Jakob noticed the walls weren't that different from the ones at hom-….at the Chamberlain Estate. They were bleak, stone walls that were rigid to the touch. Everything in Nohr seemed rigid, to be honest. The king, Garon, was stern and had a wandering eye for women, yet he was said to be a fair, decent man too.

At least that's what Jakob had heard.

The maids always gossiped about how Garon had many concubines after Queen Katerina's death, resulting in several illegitimate children. In Jakob's mind, he always thought how wonderful it must be to have so many siblings to play with. As an only child, Jakob hoped that having siblings might cure his loneliness, but then considered how they may also be ignored and figured no one should to be damned his fate too. But, Garon had recently wed a foreigner and his indulgences have ceased, meaning there shouldn't be any new additions to the family anytime soon.

As Jakob continued to follow Ms. Fiona, he wondered if he would ever meet the royal family. Perhaps he could play with the royal children and the other servants. And maybe…maybe life would be better here. Ms. Fiona said he was no better than the other servants, so equal standing may result in kindship between them all. But, as she opened a wooden door and ten pairs of cold eyes scrutinized him, Jakob realized his dreams would remain dreams.

And that happy families would only remain in storybooks.

* * *

The other butler apprentices, all ranging from ten to sixteen, either ignored him completely or made his life a living hell. Jakob wanted to fit in and find his niche in this new life, but his 'colleagues' secluded him from the start. They all knew he was a discarded aristocrat, so they used that to their advantage.

"Can't you sweep properly?" A 14-year old snorted, gesturing to Jakob awkwardly swaying the broom back and forth. "Or are your precious hands above such hard labor?"

"I'm sorry, but I am not used to work like this." His hands trembled as the taller boy loomed over him. "Could you ple-?"

The handle of the boy's broom rammed into Jakob's cheek, sending him barreling to the ground. Tears sprung to his eyes and his cheek stung, but Jakob held his tongue. Talking would just make it worse.

"Don't talk back to me like you're someone important!" The boy kicked him in the side, causing Jakob to cry out. "Your parents abandoned you because you are useless! You are nothing but a waste of space!" Then, he bent down and leant over to whisper in Jakob's ear. "Do you want to know a secret? Word is that your parents' financial problems started the moment you were born. That is why you thrown out. It's because you are nothing but a parasite."

Then the boy threw his broom next to Jakob's trembling form and dumped his full dust pan on top of him.

"Clean this mess up, 'Master' Jakob. I'll be taking my leave now." He gave him a mocking bow before strutting away, leaving Jakob laying there, his eyes stinging from the dust and his tears. When Ms. Fiona found him a while later, she just shook her head and told him to stop disgracing himself. Biting his tongue, Jakob nodded and stood up, watching the head maid continue on her way.

'He is right.' He wiped his face with his sleeve, wincing at his throbbing cheek. 'I am nobody. I am… **nothing**.'

Later that night, Jakob stared at his reflection in the tiny bathroom all eleven boys shared. An ugly, purple bruise was bulging from his cheek; no one asked if he was okay or gave him words of comfort. No, they just acted as they did before, and as the weeks went by, Jakob went to bed with more bruises and cuts from his "colleagues". As he pulled his itchy, wool blanket over his head, Jakob would weep in agony at his situation, but he soon became enraged at everyone and everything.

But especially with himself.

For not fighting back.

For being weak and defenseless.

For being inept at everything he did.

And….For being born.

* * *

It was a year later when he first caught sight of the royal family. It was noon and he was perched on a balcony overlooking the castle's inner garden. The sky was cloudy—it always was in Nohr, but it was pleasant weather compared to most days. Jakob was scarfing down a piece of bread, quickly learning that eating in the servant hall brought nothing but pain. A childish squeal caught his attention and he gazed down to see King Garon and Queen Arete strolling through the gardens. A blue-haired girl was holding the Queen's hand while a blond-haired boy was sitting on the King's shoulders. He looked closer and noticed several more children and women were scattered around the garden. Some children were playing together but most ignored each other. Jakob smirked at that.

"Even the royal family is not a real 'family'." He scoffed and tossed the remains of his lunch over the balcony, ducking out of sight as it hit the boy on the King's shoulders. Even if he hated living in the castle, it was better than living on the streets, so Jakob did his best to keep his head low. His stewardship skills had not improved at all, but he found that if he bit his tongue and apologized, he was allowed his place in the servant's quarters. He still had to tread lightly though; his position was already hanging by a thin thread.

However, that was only so much he could take before breaking.

* * *

One November evening, Jakob sat in one of the pantries surrounded by a mountain of silver bowls. His hands were raw from hours of polishing them, but at least he was almost done. Placing the final bowl on the finished pile, Jakob inspected his hands and sighed at how hideous they were. A year and a half of hard labor and abuse had littered his hands with burns, scars, and calluses. He was only nine, and he already had the hands of a 60-year old steward. Curling his hands into fists, Jakob turned to the stack of polished silver and beheld his reflection. His short, silver hair stood out on ends since he was forced to cut it by himself. It wasn't easy and he had several scars on his neck and ears from when his knife slipped. His once round face was gaunt, all of his baby fat burned away, and his skin was a ghostly white.

In this state, no one would ever believe Jakob was once an aristocrat. But he didn't care about his birth 'family' anymore. They could both rot in Hell for all he cared.

Sighing once again, Jakob stretched his worn hands before crawling to his feet. Now that the polishing was finished, he had to catch up on the laundry. But, just as he stood up, Jakob was roughly pushed from behind and sent crashing into the mountain of silverware.

"Good work, 'Master' Jakob." Luis, a 13-year old apprentice, sneered, kicking a bowl out of the way. "But it took you two hours to polish this! A real butler could finish all this in ten minutes!"

Jakob screamed as Luis dug his boot heel into his hand, demanding that he release him.

"Oh, are you ordering me around now?" He scoffed, bending down and plucking Jakob up by his collar. "You are neither my liege nor my co-worker. Heh, you're not even on the same level as the horse shit in the stables." Luis roughly shook him back and forth, banging Jakob's head against the wall. "So don't starting thinking you're worth anything."

With a smirk, he carelessly dropped Jakob onto the ground before walking away, pleased with himself.

But, for Jakob, this wasn't over.

No, this was his breaking point.

Letting out a cry, Jakob pounced onto Luis' back and locked his arms around his neck.

"H-Hey!" He gasped, trying to tear the smaller boy off him. "Let go of me, you bastard!"

But years of pent up anger and loathing had boiled out, and Jakob tightened his hold as his emotions engulfed him. All these negative feelings were spilling out, and Jakob barely felt like himself anymore.

All he cared about was extracting sweet revenge.

Suddenly, he was yanked off his perch and thrown to the side. As Jakob's back hit the wall, the fog cleared and bile rose up his throat as he saw a familiar pair of boots in front of him. He peered up and found Ms. Fiona leering down at him with all of the appetencies behind her, whispering to each other.

"He really is a monster. He almost killed Luis!"

"I always knew the maggot would snap one day."

Their words were like daggers and the room instantly went silent as Ms. Fiona smacked Jakob across the cheek.

"I have been very lenient with you!" She snarled, striking him once more. "You were a gift from your parents to gain the King's favor, but their efforts were fruitless! You put stewardship to shame and now, you attack your own!" Jakob tried to defend himself, but she just held a hand up. "Get out of my sight and out of the castle. If you want to behave like a rat, then live like one."

Ms. Fiona then snapped her fingers and a guard came around the corner. They hoisted him over their shoulder and marched to the kitchen exit before tossing him out on the cold street.

And just like that, Jakob had lost his second home.

* * *

The streets of Windmire were as dull and gray as the Norhian sky. The capital was divided based on social class, and Jakob could faintly remember where the Chamberlain estate was. He didn't plan on begging his parents to take him back, but to steal some of their riches so he could make ends meet. But another part of him refused to become a common street rat.

He still had some pride left.

Like with his parents, Ms. Fiona had dumped him on the streets with nothing but the clothes on his back. As he trudged down the cobblestone streets, Jakob received inquisitive stares from strangers, probably wondering what a royal servant was doing outside the castle.

But he wasn't Jakob the Butler anymore, just like he was no longer Jakob Nathaniel Chamberlain.

Now he was just…Jakob.

Jakob the orphan.

He eventually was able to secure himself a place under a bridge with an old coat he found in the garbage as a blanket. The only thing of value Jakob had was the emerald brooch on his collar, so he sold it to a vendor for 500 G. It wasn't much but it would sustain him until he could devise the next course of action.

…If there **was** a next course of action.

Beaten and worn as he was, Jakob was only nine. Who would employ a child or give them shelter after being kicked out of the royal services? So, Jakob ended up spending his days sitting under the bridge and watching the citizens pass by. His money was hidden inside his vest pocket, its weight the only thing keeping him company. Nohrian winters were notorious for their harsh winds and freezing temperatures, and Jakob swore there were icicles forming on his skin. He pulled his coat snug around his shoulders, shivering as the winds grew stronger with every passing day. For hours, he watched 'happy' families and friends hug and love together constantly; it all left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Bullshit." He growled, digging his nails into his palms. "It's all bullshit."

And sometimes, the citizens would stare back at him with pitying or disgusted stares.

"What a pitiful boy. He has been abandoned."

"Heh. Another dirty street rat. There seem to be more every day."

"Hey! His garments bear the Nohrian family crest! He must've been a servant and they gave him the boot."

"Wow, he must've been terrible then. Guess he kinda deserves it…"

Their remarks were nothing new to Jakob. He had heard those words millions of times.

…So…why did it still hurt?

Hadn't he learned by now or was he still stubbornly naïve that there was good in the world?

Wiping his eyes, Jakob crawled into the more secluded parts of the bridge until he was out of their sight. The temperature dropped as he moved further into the dark, but he had already lost most feeling in his limbs so it didn't really matter now.

Then, just as he settled himself back down, a hand reached out and covered his mouth.

"Mhmp?!" Jakob struggled against his assailant's grip but someone else came out and held him down. His attackers were men in their early twenties, their clothes in shambles and breath reeking of gin. The one covering his mouth was blond and had a scar running down his neck, and the other was brunette with burn marks covering his arms.

"Keep still, you little worm." The brunette reached into Jakob's vest and plucked out his small bag of gold. "Hey, not bad! Guess we hit the jackpot."

"Really? Let me see." The blond eased up his grip so he could get a closer look.

Seizing the chance, Jakob bit his hand, instantly freeing himself before snatching the gold out of the brunette's hand, and made a run for it. Unfortunately, the men easily caught up to him and pinned the frightened boy to the ground.

"Let me go!" Jakob cried out, fighting back but a kick in the stomach made him writhe in pain.

"Little shit!" The man he bit yanked him up by his hair, laughing when Jakob whimpered in fear. "I'll teach you to mess with me." He was about to land another blow to his stomach when he stopped and stared at Jakob's face. "Hey,…you are a pretty cute kid."

"Really?" The other man reached out and grasped Jakob by the chin, inspecting his face like he was buying a horse. "Hmm. Not bad at all. How much do you think he's worth?"

Jakob's stomach turned at the way the men were leering at him.

'Worth? Worth what?!'

He had heard stories about children being kidnapped and sold like cattle, and he prayed that this wasn't the case.

"Let's take him to the hideout!" The blond smirked, heaving Jakob over his shoulder like a sack of flour. "We can decide what to do with him there."

"NO!" Jakob flailed around, kicking and clawing with all his soul. "LET ME GO! LET ME-!"

"Shut up!" The brunette whipped out a knife and held it up to Jakob's throat, freezing him in place. "Now, be a good kid and come quietly. Alright?"

Jakob's mind went blank as the knife was pressed against his pulse point, the blade colder than any Nohrian winter. Gulping, he could only nod and the brunette patted his cheek in a mocking act of comfort.

"Good boy."

* * *

The hideout turned out to be an abandoned boarding house in the heart of the Windmire slums. The air reeked of alcohol, blood, and something else Jakob couldn't identify. The floorboards creaked with every step the men took, and he felt like throwing up. Suddenly, the men walked into a large room filled with chatter, and Jakob was thrown in the middle of the floor. All commotion ceased at the interruption, the room becoming ten degrees cooler. Whimpering, Jakob slowly gazed up and found men ranging from early to late adulthood crowding around him.

"Ey, nice catch, guys." A bearded man spoke up, taking a gulp of his gin. "He's not bad. Bring him here as a prize or for business?"

"A mixture of both maybe." The blond laughed, tossing Jakob's bag of gold to the man. "The kid is small, so there are sure to be buyers. But, he is pretty cute too. Figured he could be someone's pet for the night."

Jakob's stomach dropped at hearing the room fill with cheers, immediately curling into a ball and covering his face.

'Oh Gods, oh Gods! They're going to make me a slave! I-I got to get out of here!'

Fumbling to his knees, Jakob tried to crawl away, but the brunette jammed his boot onto his back and pinned him into place on the ground.

"Let's make bets." The bearded man—the leader for the looks of it, declared, already placing 200 G on a wooden table. "Whoever bids the highest can have the boy for the night. Deal?"

More cheers filled the room followed by bidding numbers and the sound of gold slamming on the wooden table. Jakob's tearful pleas only encouraged the men further, and the petrified boy wept and trembled at his cursed fate.

"Please," He whimpered, heart pounding in his ears. "Pl-please! Someone…help me!"

"Sold!" The leader bellowed, pointing to a balding man with a scar across his back. Jakob shivered as the winner licked his lips and rubbed his hands together like he was about to eat a delicious meal."Reno, the boy is-!"

"Mine!"

The boot was torn off Jakob's back and he was swept up into a pair of warm arms.

'W-What?!'

"Zero!" The leader snapped, slamming his fist on the table. "What is the meaning of this? You know the rules!"

Still shaking like a leaf, Jakob peeked at this 'Zero' and was shocked to see a boy only a few years older than him. He had white hair that stood out against his brown skin, a pair of dark blue eyes, and a cocky smirk that lit up his face.

"I know, Boss." Zero laughed before clutching Jakob to his chest. "But you promised me if I completed the Arcane heist, you would give me a special present. Well, I want this little cutie right here as payment."

"Listen here, you bastard." Reno charged forward, his imposing figure casting a shadow over Zero. "I won the bet fair and square, so the kid is mine."

"You can go stick it somewhere else, Reno." Zero smirked with glee, side steeping around the fuming man. "Boss, you gave me your word. Didn't you always say your word was golden?"

The leader gaped at him before fumbling with his words, all the eyes of the room on him.

"W-Well, yes. My word is golden, but-!"

"Then there shouldn't be a problem." He beamed before looking down at Jakob, who was white as a sheet. "Now if you'll excuse, I'd like to get acquainted with my prize." Then Zero strutted out of the room and up three flights of stairs, humming a cherry tune to himself. Jakob, on the other hand, was sweating bullets. This guy just saved him, but also took him as his own. What was he going to do to him? Millions of scenarios raced through Jakob's brain, each one more unsavory than the last.

"Quite an exciting face you're pulling." Zero grinned, kicking a door open before nudging it shut. "It makes me feel all warm inside."

The moment he placed him down, Jakob rushed to the other side of the room and picked up a plank of wood.

"Get away from me!" He wailed, scared to death but ready to fight his way out.

Zero just grinned and shook his head, slowly making his way towards him.

"Get away!" Jakob swung the plank rapidly but Zero easily swatted it away.

"Oooh, fiery!" He chuckled and reached out towards Jakob's face, who immediately flinched away. But, instead of grabbing him, Zero plucked an apple from a bowl on the shelf behind Jakob and took a bite before walking away.

"Wh…" Jakob started, still trembling.

"As cute as you are, you're not my type." Zero fell back on a mattress in the corner of the room and continued eating. "And I'm not interesting in bedding children."

"T-then you're not going to hurt me?"

"Heh," He tossed the apple core into a waste basket. "Like I said, you're not my type."

Jakob's legs gave out from under him, and he crumbled to the ground, relieved and exhausted.

"So," Zero turned to lie on his side, resting his hand on his palm. "Why is someone like you in the Windmire slums?"

"What do you mean?" Jakob curled his knees to his chest, still on edge despite knowing Zero wasn't going to assault him. "I live on the streets."

"Your clothes may be in shambles and your face may be covered in dirt, but you can't hide the way you talk."

"Eh?"

"Your accent. You talk like the nobles do." Zero then gestured to Jakob's clothes. "Even servants of the royal family don't talk like that. It's obvious you came from a noble family, so what's the deal? Mummy and Daddy didn't buy you enough toys or something?"

Memories flashed through Jakob's mind and he immediately glared at Zero.

"What do you care?" He snapped, betting that he would ridicule him like the others. 'One act of mercy doesn't make him a good person.'

"You're right. I don't care." Zero shrugged, scratching his nose without a worry. "But we got nothing better to do unless you really wanted to be Reno's pe-."

"NO!" Jakob cut him off, never wanting to be in that situation again. He wrung his hands and considered what to do next. "…How can I trust that you won't hurt me?"

Zero laughed and sat up, confusing Jakob once again.

"You're a smart kid after all. You are right not to trust me, I don't trust you either. But I said I wouldn't do anything and it is up to you whether or not you'll believe that."

Jakob stared into Zero's eyes, trying to decipher any deceit or lecherous intent like he had seen in the other's. But he didn't see anything and decided to take a chance.

"I…I believe you." He slowly got up and gave a small bow. "Thank you, Mr. Zero."

"Cut the 'Mr. Zero' crap. I'm fourteen, not forty." He groaned, scratching his hair in annoyance. "And how old are you? Three?"

"I'm nine!" Jakob stomped his feet, sending Zero into a fit of laughter. "It's not funny!"

"Ahaha! I like you better all fired up than that trembling mess you were a few seconds ago." He reached out and pinched Jakob's cheek. "Show me that face more often."

"Owowow!" He shrieked, swatting at Zero's hand. "Stop it, you jerk!"

"A 'jerk'? Wow, my ears are burning from such foul language." He teased, releasing Jakob nonetheless before standing back up. He strolled back over to the fruit bowl and tossed an apple at Jakob. "Here. You look like you haven't eaten in weeks. Eat up, kid."

Jakob felt like he was standing on an inclined plane with all these mixed signals his 'savior' was giving him, but his stomach growled loudly and the apple looked so delicious.

"Thank you." He muttered before taking a huge bite, the tart flavor like Heaven to him. Jakob had forgotten how much he loved fruits with all that had happened.

Zero watched him ravenously devour the fruit, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Once Jakob finshed and tossed the core away, Zero grabbed a cape from a rickety chair and passed to Jakob.

"That should be fine as a blanket. The mattress is yours, so go ahead and sleep."

"Eh?" Jakob was again taken aback by this act of kindness. "Really? What about you?"

"Hmm?" Zero smirked, walking back over to Jakob and leaning in close, their faces inches apart. "Is that an invitation?"

"No!" Jakob snapped, shoving him away before scurrying onto the mattress and throwing the cape over his head.

Zero snickered and walked away as silence fell over the room. Jakob waited for a moment, half expecting the older boy to attack him but nothing happened. Five minutes passed and he started to relax a little.

'Maybe he really isn't going to hurt me.'

The mattress smelled odd and was hard, but the cape had a metallic scent to it. Recalling the type of person Zero was, Jakob shivered at the thought of how the cape got its smell. But, even so, Zero had treated him kindly, and that meant a lot to Jakob.

It started to get hot under the cape, so he poked his head out and shivered as the cool air hit him. Zero was right, this cape was warm. Now that is quiet and he knew Zero wasn't a huge threat, Jakob began to look around the room, noticing things he hadn't before.

The room was small with a low roof that was rotted in various spots. There wasn't any carpeting or wallpaper, just wooden planks of various colors. Besides the mattress and shelf with the fruit on it, there was a small chest and a rickety chair with a large bucket propped next to it. Across from the mattress, there was a muddy window that was latched shut, but Jakob could faintly see the night sky through the glass. All in all, it wasn't anything special but it wasn't a spot under a bridge so Jakob was grateful for that.

Wondering where Zero was, he rolled onto his stomach and gazed up, finding the teen huddled in the corner with an archer's bow in his hands. He was tightening the string with ease and Jakob wondered how skilled he was. He watched him for a while longer before figuring he should answer Zero's question.

"My name is Jakob. I was born on December 3rd and used to be an aristocrat before working in the castle."

Zero didn't even look at him, just nodded and that made Jakob continue.

"I was the child of the Chamberlain family, but I was abandoned by my parents. They sold me to the royal family to save their social status." It was like a dam had broken, and Jakob couldn't stop the words pouring from his mouth. "They never cared for me, so it was easy for them to cast me aside. But, I foolishly loved them with all my heart, wishing day after day for them to love me. It never happened though." Zero finally turned to face him, but Jakob kept going, his vision becoming blurry. "I was a horrible butler and the other apprentices abused me for my short comings and how I was abandoned. Finally, I grew tired of it and almost strangled one of the boys. As a result, I was thrown out onto the streets…because I'm a worthless piece of garbage. That is the only explanation, right?"

Jakob didn't notice that Zero was crouching in front of him until a warm hand was placed on his head. He glanced up at him, the teen staring back with a blank face. But…Jakob could see something shining in his eyes.

Was it…understanding?

"Get some sleep, Jakob." Zero sighed, patting him gently on the head like how Jakob wished a million times his father would. "We'll deal with this in the morning."

Wiping his eyes, Jakob nodded and lied back down, feeling an odd sense of peace for the first time in his life.

* * *

The next morning, Jakob was abruptly awoken by someone biting his nose.

"Wha?!" He shot up, frantically scanning the room for a dog or raccoon. "What the hell was that?!"

"Good morning to you too." Zero stood up from his crouching position, a smirk on his face. "Sleep well?"

"Did you just bite me?!" Jakob rubbed his nose, feeling light indentions on the bridge. "That is disgusting!"

"What better way to wake up a Sleeping Beauty?" He laughed, easily brushing off the glares Jakob was shooting at him. "Anyways, I brought a clean towel and filled the bath with water. It's pretty obvious you haven't bathed in a few weeks."

Jakob's cheeks flushed at the statement, knowing fully well he smelt of raw sewage.

"And there are some clothes over there." Zero gestured to the rickety chair where a shirt and pants were draped over the back. "They are too big for you, but it's better than what you're wearing now."

"It's fine." Jakob nodded, crawling off the mattress and towards the bath. "Thank you, Zero."

The teenager just nodded before sitting against the wall with his arms crossed.

Jakob started to undress but kept peeking back at Zero, who was staring back at him.

"Um…are you going to turn around?"

"What, are you shy?" Zero laughed but closed his eyes to give Jakob some privacy. "Hurry it up. I need to talk to you about something."

"Alright." Jakob quickly undressed before hopping into the bath, the cold water waking him up. It wasn't a real bath, but the fact that Zero actually did this for him made Jakob smile a little. Washing off weeks of grime felt heavenly, and he made sure not to drip too much as he hopped back out. Jakob dried himself off and pulled his new clothes on, finding they were indeed too big for him. But they were clean and that was all that mattered.

"I'm done." Jakob announced, watching Zero open his eyes and stand back up.

"Pfft." He snorted, scanning the boy up and down. "Are you sure you're nine? From my perspective, you look about two."

Jakob glowered at him, but when Zero chuckled and ruffled his hair, all negative thoughts flew out the window. These random acts of kindness still took him off-guard.

"So," Zero cleared his throat, going over to the fruit bowl and tossing Jakob a pear this time. "What is your plan?"

"What?" Jakob asked, mid-crunch.

"What do you plan on doing now? I was only allowed to keep you for the night, so you're not my responsibility anymore. Are you going to head back out on the streets or what?"

Thoughts of being captured again flashed through Jakob's mind and he immediately shook his head. He never wanted to experience that again.

 **Never.**

"So what are you going to do then?"

"Well," Jakob stared down the half-eaten pear, scared that Zero was going to throw him out on the streets. Deep down, he was hoping that he would let him stay, but that apparently wasn't the case. "I…I was hoping to stay here with you."

"I'm not a babysitter, Jakob. And you defiantly do not belong here with a bunch of sleazy thieves."

"You're not like that." Jakob mumbled under his breath.

"How do you know what I'm like?" Zero fired back, glaring down at him. "We barely know each other."

'You understand how I feel.' Jakob wanted to say. 'I saw it in your eyes.'

Instead, Jakob looked Zero dead in the eye and whispered, "Please. Don't make me go back out there."

His confession yesterday had broken all his defenses, and Zero had been the first to show him any kindness, so Jakob was clinging to that.

Zero stared at him, and Jakob could see that gleam in his eyes again. He wanted to ask him about it, but didn't want to make Zero angry. After a moment, the older boy groaned and rubbed his face.

"Fine." Jakob nearly jumped for joy. "But, they are going to be some rules."

"…Okay." He sat up straight, hoping it wouldn't be anything too drastic.

"First, I cannot take you with me on my heists. You will slow me down, and you don't belong out there anyways."

"But you can teach me to fight!" Jakob sprung to his feet, but Zero immediately pushed him back down.

"I'm a thief, not a teacher. Now, second, when I am out, the door will be locked but if someone tries to come in, hide here." He pushed the shelf aside, revealing a hidden room. "No one else knows about this and I doubt anyone will come in here while I'm gone, so this is just to be on the safe side."

"Why do you think no one will come?" Jabok asked, finding his reasoning flawed. "You're living will thieves and criminals. Don't you think they would steal from each other?"

"Well, I already said anyone who touches what is mine will be tortured oh so pleasantly." The smile on Zero's face told Jakob someone had already tried. "But, we all may be criminals, but we are a group and we vowed to be loyal to each other."

"Do you honestly trust them?"

"No, I don't trust anyone. But I will work with them because they are-."

"Your family?"

Zero paused at Jakob's interruption, rolling his words around in his head with a pinched up expression.

"I guess." He mumbled, obviously bothered by what Jakob said. "They did take me in, but I wouldn't say we are 'family'."

"Then what do you think a family is?" Jakob was truly curious. Family has always been something unobtainable to him, and he wanted to know what someone else thought of it.

"Shit, Jakob. I don't know." Zero threw his hands in the air. "Just let me finish."

Jakob nodded, waiting for the next condition.

"When I return to the room, I will use a special knock so you know it is me. I will wait three seconds before letting myself in. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good. Do as you wish here, but don't make any noise when you're by yourself. I can bring you whatever you need, just ask me. Understand?"

This time, instead of nodding, Jakob bolted to his feet and hugged Zero with all his might.

"What the-?" He stumbled back in shock, but Jakob didn't ease up.

"Thank you so much, Zero." His voice was muffled against his tunic. "I promise to never make you regret doing this for me."

"For Gods sake, are you crying again?" Zero's tone was annoyed but he patted Jakob on the head. "Calm down. It's not like we're on a sinking ship and I gave you the last lifejacket."

But it meant the world to Jakob. Zero was the first friend Jakob ever had, even if the teen in question didn't think the same. He had given him food and shelter without demanding anything out of him.

So, for the first time in his life, Jakob felt happy.

* * *

True to his word, Zero supplied Jakob with a sketchpad and more fruits to snack on while he was out. The teenager still teased Jakob relentlessly, but he took care of him. Sometimes, Zero even brought home treats for Jakob, no doubt stolen but it didn't matter. For the first time ever, Jakob felt a sense of kinship.

'This must be what it's like to have a big brother.' Jakob smiled to himself as Zero placed a candied fig in his hand. 'Someone who always looks out for you and keeps you safe.'

"What's the smile for?" Zero grinned, pinching Jakob's cheeks as the younger boy flailed around.

"Owowowow! Let go!" He swatted Zero's hands away before punching him in the arm.

"Ey! Getting a little fiery now!" Zero put Jakob in a headlock and ruffled his hair, laughing alongside his 'victim'. Eventually he released him and went to put his quiver and bow away. "So what trouble did you get up to today?"

"I practiced drawing hands!" Jakob scarfed down the treat before scrambling to grab his sketchbook and flipped to the most recent page. "What do you think?"

"Pretty good." Zero nodded, his compliment genuine and he patted Jakob on the head. "Maybe you'll be an artist someday, kid."

"I doubt that." Jakob hummed, putting the sketchpad away. "So what kind of job did you have today? Another robbery?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself over." Zero shot back, the unsaid 'don't ask anymore' apparent in his tone.

"O-Okay." Jakob replied, taking a seat on the mattress. He had been living with Zero for two weeks now, and his 'big brother' had yet to tell him anything about his life or his work. Jakob knew he engaged in criminal activities, but he was still curious.

He was snapped out his daze when Zero plopped down on the mattress next to him.

"So~," He drawled out, lying on his side with his head propped up on his hand. "Got any plans tonight?"

"No?" Jakob squinted his eyes, wondering what Zero was conjuring up.

"Good because I'm taking you out tonight?"

"What?! Where?!" Jakob hadn't been outside since he met Zero, and to be honest, he didn't want to go back out. He wanted to stay in his cocoon.

"Relax, kiddo." Zero patted his head, calming the younger boy down. "You'll see in a moment." Without missing a beat, Zero grabbed the cape from off the floor and wrapped it securely around Jakob's shoulders. Once he was sure it was on tight, he turned and crouched low. "Get on."

Trusting his 'big brother', Jakob crawled onto his back and held on as Zero stood back up and scurried over to the window. Shifting his passenger's weight to one hand, Zero unlatched the window, a cold gust of wind blowing into the room.

"Zero?" Jakob practically glued himself to his back as the teen hopped up on the window ledge.

"Close your eyes if you're scared." That was Jakob's only warning as Zero hopped off the ledge and onto the adjacent rooftop two stories below. Too scared to shut his eyes, Jakob just clung to Zero for dear life as the thief raced across the rooftop and hopped onto another. If he wasn't on the verge of passing out, Jakob would've been impressed with Zero's athletic prowess.

A watchtower was connected to the final rooftop, and Zero climbed up it with ease. Once they were at the top, Zero gently placed Jakob on his feet and chuckled at his dazed expression.

"Quite the rush, eh?"

"I guess you can call it that." Jakob muttered, crossing his arms to hide his trembling hands. "So why did you bring me out here?"

"Well," Zero plopped himself on the ground, Jakob following suit. "It is because…of that."

Jakob's eyes followed to where Zero's finger was pointing, finding a beautiful night sky above them with a full moon and millions of sky scattered around.

"Wow.." Jakob breathed out, awestruck by the sight. "How did you find this place?"

"You find lots of hidden treasures being a thief." Zero hummed, gazing at the sky. "This is my favorite thing to do. Just sitting up here away from everything else. It's peaceful."

Jakob had never heard Zero talk like this, so open and vulnerable. Glad his brother was sharing this with him, he nodded and continued to stargaze by his side.

However, the moment of silence was soon broken when Zero spoke up in a quiet voice.

"I was abandoned too."

Jakob faced with wide eyes but didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue.

"Unlike you though, I have no clear memories of my past. The only thing I can faintly remember is my mother leaving me on a street corner and never coming back. After that, it's all a blur. Perhaps my mind is trying to protect me from remembering." He said that with a bitter laugh. "Anyways, somehow I ended up with the sorry bunch you see today. They took me in and gave me shelter…for a price of course." Then Zero turned to Jakob, actually looking like the child he was. "Do you remember when you asked me why I cared? Why I bothered saving you?"

Jakob nodded, wondering if his questions were finally going to be answered.

"Because I saw myself in you. I was that scared little boy once, pleading for help. Except…no one saved me." With a sad smile, Zero reached out and ruffled Jakob's hair. "Guess I acted involuntarily."

Jakob felt tears prickling at his eyes, both in sorrow and joy. Sorrow for Zero's past and how horribly life has treated him, and joy for how truly loving Zero was at his core.

"But, hey, do you know what got me through everything?" That sneaky gleam returned to his eyes.

"What?"

"I would stare at the moon and think of the moon goddess watching over me."

"The moon goddess?" Jakob blinked in surprised, never expecting Zero to say such a thing.

"Yes, she is a beautiful woman who loves and protects everyone. She guides us to our destinations and makes sure we never feel alone. So, everything time I felt low; I would look up at the moon and know the goddess was watching over me."

"Wow…" Jakob stared at the moon with new eyes. A goddess lived on the moon? Was she magical like the goddesses in his storybooks? "Can she grant wishes?"

"Maybe. What is your wish?"

If Jakob had been paying attention, he could've easily told by Zero's tone that he was pulling his leg. But he was too immersed in the thought of the moon goddess and what she could offer him.

"I want to find a family—a family of my own who will love me like I love them. And I want to become strong to protect them."

"Do you promise that?"

"What?"

"Do you promise to protect and be strong for your loved ones no matter what?" Zero rested his hands on his knees, looking very serious for once.

"Yes!" Jakob declared, pumping his fists in the air. "I promise!"

"Swear on it then." Zero held out his pinky. "Work hard to become a great man so the moon goddess will grant your wish."

"I will!"

And the two friend locked pinkies, wide grins on both of their faces.

The two of them continued to watch the moon and stars for a while until the clock tower could be heard striking midnight in the distance.

"Hey, Jakob." Zero reached out and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "It's a new day. And do you know what that means?"

"What?" He peered up at his big brother with curious eyes.

"It means it's your birthday." Zero whipped out another candied fig and placed it in Jakob's palm. "Happy 10th Birthday, Jakob."

And as Jakob sat there with his brother by his side, he thought he would burst with utter joy.

But…Jakob couldn't escape his fate and he was soon thrown back into bitter reality.

* * *

A week later, Jakob was doodling on the mattress when he heard Zero's special knock on the door.

Thrilled that his brother was home early, he skipped to the door and unlocked it, ready to greet him like always.

Except, when Jakob opened the door, Zero wasn't standing there.

It was Reno, the man who bid the highest for Jakob.

"Well, well," He grinned, stepping into the room. "I thought it was strange Zero had been holed up in his room lately. Didn't think he would actually keep you after one night."

"G-get away from me." Jakob gulped, backing away with frightened eyes. "If you don't leave, you'll be sorry!"

"Y'know, I never got my gold back from that night and I don't see your knight in shining armor anywhere." Reno sneered, snatching Jakob's wrist. "So I've decided to claim my prize."

"No!" He cried, clawing at the predator's iron grip. "Zero! Zero! Help me!"

"Shut up!" Reno raised his hand to strike Jakob when an arrow shot through it, causing him to release Jakob as he howled in pain.

"I don't recall giving you permission to enter my room." Zero sneered, stringing up another arrow. "Such horrible manners you have."

"Zero!" Jakob gasped, racing to his side and hiding behind his legs.

"You bastard!" Reno growled, ripping the arrow out of his hand and charging forward. Zero pushed Jakob out of harm's way and fired another arrow, this time hitting Reno's leg. But the brute didn't fall and lunged towards Zero who barely rolled out of the way.

"Zero!" Jakob gasped, about to run towards him when he held out a hand.

"Stay there, Jakob!" He ordered, turning towards the younger boy with a harden gaze. "Don't move a muscle!"

That lapse in concentration was a fatal mistake.

Seizing the chance, Reno tackled Zero to the ground. The two of them struggled, but Reno was the physically stronger one and easily pinned his opponent to the ground. With one hand clutching Zero's face, the monster pulled out a knife from his back pocket and laughed.

"Here is what you get for messing with me, boy!"

Jakob could only watch in complete horror as Reno carved out Zero's right eye, his brother's screams filling the room. The sight rattled him to his core, and it became burned in the little boy's memory.

Holding up the eye like a trophy, Reno laughed and stood over Zero's writhing form. He was clutching the right side of his face, blood pouring between his fingers and Jakob's throat dried up.

It was all his fault. He made Zero lose his eye.

'It's all my fault. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!'

Jakob's head snapped up as Reno loomed over him, that sick grin on his face.

"Now, where were we?" He reached down to grab Jakob when he was suddenly yanked backwards. Zero, blood still pouring down his face, had jumped onto Reno's back and was choking him with his bow.

"Jakob!" He cried out to his petrified friend. "Run away now!"

"B-But..!"

"Didn't you make a promise to me?!" He grunted, yanking harder. "Get out of here and make your wish come true! If you don't, I will hunt you down and kick your ass! Now go!"

Zero's cries finally snapped Jakob out of his funk and he nodded, sparing his friend and big brother one last glance before jumping out the window and onto the adjacent roof. He could still hear Reno's struggles before a loud, sickening crack echoed through the air.

All was silent after that.

Jakob found a drainpipe and slid down it before continuing to run, tears blurring his vision. Even as his lungs burned, Jakob kept running through the alleyways and streets. Finally, when he could no longer see Zero's watch tower, Jakob stopped and collapsed against a wall, panting and crying. For a third time, he had lost his home and with it, the first person who ever cared about him.

* * *

For five months, Jakob traveled across Nohr, sneaking onto caravans and stealing food from vendors. It was difficult and plenty of times Jakob got caught, resulting in him getting beaten or nearly arrested. It also didn't help that tensions between Nohr and the neighboring kingdom, Hoshido, were high. Several of King Garon's former concubines and children had been murdered in some feud within the family, and the King's attitude seemed to have changed as of late. And when the King isn't happy, the country suffers which leads to rebellions and many Nohrians have taken out their anger on the 'happy-go-lucky" Hoshidans. So the only time Jakob felt at peace was at night when he could stare at the moon, remembering what Zero had told him. And it was true, the moon even when it wasn't full, shone brightly for him like a beacon of hope.

"Do you really exist?" Jakob whispered, reaching a hand out towards the sky as he lay in a field for the night. "Can you lead me to where I need to go? To where I'll be happy?"

Every night he would ask the moon that, and every night the moon became brighter and brighter. It gave him courage and as he fell asleep, he prayed to find his happiness so he could face Zero like the worthy man he promised to be.

No one would take his happiness away from him again.

This time, he would fight to protect it.

* * *

By mid-January, Jakob had found himself at the Bottomless Canyon, the divider between Nohr and Hoshido.

"Why have you led me here?" Jakob gazed up at the moon, hoping for her to give him answers. "There is nothing here but ruins."

The moon just continued to shine brightly, and Jakob sighed before nodding.

"Alright. I believe in you." Taking a few deep breathes, he began to creep across the rickety bridge, chanting 'Don't-look-down' under this breath. When he finally made it to the other side, he threw himself onto the ground and kissed it.

"I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm-!"

"Who are you?!" A voice boomed from above him, and Jakob looked up just as a club swung down and everything went dark.

* * *

When Jakob awoke, he was lying inside a wagon with boxes stacked up around him. He could hear people talking up front, but he couldn't understand them.

'What are they speaking?' His head was still pounding from the blow, but he willed the splintering headache away to focus on what his captors were saying. 'I can't understand them. It's not English.'

Rubbing his head, Jakob crawled towards the edge of the wagon and lifted the lap, finding a bustling city of beautiful colors before him. His headache instantly faded away as he took in the lush, vibrant buildings, plants, and people. They were dressed differently from the Nohrian people and were talking in the same language as his captors.

Jakob immediately connected the dots and nearly fell out of the wagon in shock.

'I'm in Hoshido?! What the hell am I doing here?'

He scrambled his brain any possible explanation and thought back on how Nohr/Hoshido weren't exactly friends lately.

'Gods! They probably mistook me for an invader and are going to put me in prison!' Shaking off his initial shock, Jakob leapt out of the wagon and fled down the street. Once again, people gave him strange looks, but this time it was due to his obvious Nohrian features and clothing.

Several people called out to him in their native language, and though Jakob couldn't understand, he bet 1000 G that they were telling his captors their prisoner was escaping.

Jakob ran for Gods knows how long until he noticed a hidden trail leading up a mountainside. As stealthy as possible, he scurried up the path, his tattered shirt and pants becoming caked with dirt. Even after he couldn't hear the Hoshidians' shouts and footsteps anymore, Jakob continued up the path at a breakneck pace. And he glanced up at the sky, hoping to see the moon even though it was still daytime.

'Where are you? You got me into this mess, now get me out!'

When he reached the top, he was greeted with an orchard of peach trees and his stomach growled immediately.

'Just a quick snack and I'll be on my way.'

Jakob got on his toes and reached for a juicy looking one. But, just as his fingers grazed it, he heard a soft voice from above him.

"あなたは誰ですか?"

Heart dropping to his feet, Jakob slowly gazed up to find a girl sitting on the highest branch above him. She had long white hair and big, maroon eyes that stared at Jakob in wonder. The girl's clothing was similar with the other Hoshidan women, except hers had many layers and was more intricate.

"あなたは誰ですか?" She asked again, kicking her… **bare feet** …back and forth.

'What is with this girl? She is dressed like a noble but has filthy feet. ….Is she a forest dweller?

"Please don't hurt me." Jakob held his hands out and slowly backed away from the tree. "I'm sorry for trying to steal, but I was hungry." His stomach growled again, furthering his point. "I'll just leave now…"

"ちょっと待って!" The strange girl gathered an armful of peaches before hopping down and holding out the bounty to Jakob.

"Eh?" He pointed to himself. "For me?"

The girl nodded and shoved the fruit into his hands.

"Are you sure?" He pointed to the fruit then to his mouth. "This is for me to eat?"

The girl nodded again.

"W-Well, um…thank you." He gave a bow, knowing it was basic manners in Hoshido culture.

The girl bowed back before smiling widely, taking Jakob aback.

'Why is she smiling? Did I do something wrong?!'

She laughed and climbed back up the tree, throwing more peaches down to Jakob.

"W-Wait!" He struggled to catch and balance them all. "I don't need this much!"

Eventually the tree was plucked bare and Jakob fell to the ground up to his nose with peaches. Still grinning, the girl slid down the tree and plopped herself down next to him.

"Uh…" Jakob fidgeted underneath her gaze, wondering if she actually expected him to eat all of this. It was also then when he noticed the girl's ears were pointed like an elf's.

'Maybe she really is a forest dweller.' Jakob mused, taking a bite of the peach. It was so rich and sweet that he almost spat it back out. The fruits in Nohr were tarty and bitter, so this new mixture of flavors sent his taste buds into overdrive.

Jakob didn't even realize he was drooling until the girl leaned forward and wiped his mouth with her outer sleeve. He jerked back at the gesture, and the girl instantly bowed in apology. Jakob felt a rush of guilt as her distressed expression and held a peach out as a peace offering.

"Pardon me, Ms. Forest Dweller." He muttered, waving the fruit in front of her. "Please accept this as my apology."

The girl stared at him for a moment before gently taking the peach from him. But, instead of eating it, she placed it aside and took Jakob's hand in hers. He flinched at the contact, but didn't pull away as she began to inspect his hands. Her hands were soft and smooth compared to his, and she caressed his scars with the lightest of touches. She was holding his hands like they were made of glass, and it made Jakob's hair stand on edge. Then the girl peeked up at him, no pity or judgement in her eyes. What Jakob saw shining in her maroon eyes were….admiration?

'Admiration for what? And why…why is she touching me like this? Not even Zero touched me with so much tenderness…'

The girl smiled then, lifting his hand up to her lips and kissing the ugly burn mark on his palm. At that gesture, Jakob felt his heart stop.

"What..?" He gasped, wanting to pull away yet he leaned into her touch. "Why?"

She responded by kissing his palm again, and Jakob suddenly felt he could understand what she was trying to convey.

'I'm not going to hurt you, you're safe with me' were what her kisses were saying.

Could he really believe that though?

The girl, still holding Jakob's hand to her lips, reached out and caressed his cheek with other hand. Her touch sent shivers down his spine and he closed his eyes at the serenity it gave him.

Then, as quickly as it came, she pulled her hands away and Jakob nearly fell forward trying to follow them.

"Eh?" He whimpered at the loss of peace, and he watched her as she hopped to her feet and picked up one of the peaches. She walked about 14 feet away from him before turning back and holding the fruit up. She made a throwing motion until Jakob finally understood what she was doing.

"Do you want to play catch?" He gasped, feeling at loss with this strange girl. They barely knew each other and she was pulling the rug out from under him.

'Could this..really be happening? Another child actually wanted to play with him?'

The girl began to hop around impatiently, snapping Jakob out of his thoughts and making him hurry to his feet. With a grin, she tossed the peach and applauded when he caught it. Unsure, Jakob stared at the peach in his hand and looked back up at the girl who was waiting with her hands out. Her eyes were shinning and her smile was so infectious that Jakob found himself smiling too. Feeling like he was on a cloud, Jakob tossed the peach back and the game continued from there.

And for the first time, Jakob actually felt like a normal child. With every throw and every smile the girl gave him, he forgot his worries for a moment and let go. Then, as he caught the peach, the girl suddenly raced forward and jumped into his arms. For a moment, Jakob was frightened she was going to hurt him, but as he fell back, the girl began to tickle him.

"H-Hey!" Jakob gasped, laughing and trying to cover his sides from her devious hands. "No fair!"

But the girl was relentless in her attacks and Jakob erupted into uncontrollable laughter. Seeking retribution, he grabbed her by the waist and rolled them over.

"Revenge!" He declared before tickling her neck, the air now filled with her squeals and giggles. Her face was flushed and her eyes were glowing in the sunlight as she wiggled around underneath him.

'She is really pretty.' Jakob realized, feeling his own face flush as he slowed to stop. "She is… **beautiful**."

The girl, still red faced and smiling, gazed up at him, confusion etched across her face.

'Why did you stop?' He could hear her saying, but he didn't have an answer. Jakob just continued staring at her, feeling his chest tighten with every moment.

"Why do I feel like this?" He whispered, placing a hand over his pounding heart. The girl sat up, their faces inches apart now, and Jakob audibly gulped. Now up close, he could see her eyes had tinges of yellow and orange mixed with the maroon.

'It's like a sunset. Do all forest dwellers have eyes like that?'

The girl cupped Jakob's face in her hands and smiled.

"友達になってくれませんか?" She whispered, her thumb tracing a faint scar on his cheek.

Even though he couldn't understand her, Jakob found himself nodding and his heart fluttered as she laughed in joy. Then, she pulled his face down to her and kissed his forehead and Jakob nearly passed out from shock.

"WH-WH-AH" He stuttered, steam coming out of his burning ears. The girl just laughed and was about to hug him when she froze in place, staring at something behind him.

"Is something wr-?" A knife was pressed to his throat and Jakob flashback to the thieves back in Windmire.

'Oh Gods Oh Gods Not again!' He began to tremble as a large man came into view. His hair was a dark red and his eyes a piercing green, making Jakob feel like he was being struck by lightning.

The girl cried out to the man, trying to push him off Jakob but a second person, this time a young boy with green hair, gently pulled her back. This boy was dressed like the older man and even looked like him a little.

His captor asked him something in a harsh tone, shaking Jabok when he didn't answer.

"I-I don't understand!" He confessed, staring at the girl for courage. She reached out him and he reached out to her, but the man swatted his hand away, getting more furious by the second. The boy said something to the frightening man, looking like he was trying to convince him of something. A moment passed, the older man considering the boy's words, before the blade was lowered from Jakob's throat and he breathed a sigh of relief. But his reprieve was short lived as the older man threw him over his shoulder and sped away.

And as the winds flew past Jakob, he could hear the girl's cries echoing after him.

* * *

Jakob had been thrown into a cell with only a small lantern as his only source of light. He curled into the corner, not worrying about himself but about the girl he met.

'Is she alright? Did those two men hurt her?!' The thought of something happening to her filled Jakob with anger and he banged against the door with much vigor. "Let me out! I have to see her again! I have to know if she is okay!" But no one answered his pleas and he wearily slid down against the wooden door, his heart aching. "Please….I never got to thank her."

An hour later, the door opened and Jakob was faced with one of the prison guards. She plucked him off the ground and dragged him out into the hallway. Vaguely, Jakob was reminded of when Ms. Fiona was leading him to the servant's quarters in Castle Krakenburg, and noted the hallways in this building had smooth wooden walls and the doors were made of paper-like material and slid open.

The guard brought him before a large door with a dragon painted across it, and a weight formed in Jakob's stomach.

'Where am I exactly?'

His question was soon answered as the double doors opened and he found himself pushed into the throne room of Castle Shirasagi. The room had pillars on each side leading up to the throne and the wall was painted in vibrant colors. Jakob gulped as he was brought before the throne and forced to kneel at the steps. Petrified, he slowly gazed up and found Emperor Sumeragi sitting on the throne with Empress Mikoto at his right. Next to the Emperor, Jakob saw the scary man from before and realized he was his retainer. Then Jakob also noticed there were children standing alongside them on the throne. But one in particular caught his eye.

"It's you!" He gasped, pointing to the forest dweller girl from before. She gasped and was about to run down the steps when a teenage boy with spiky, brown hair kept her in place.

Jakob was relived she appeared to be unharmed, but he quickly noticed something else that made him sweat.

'Wait….if she is on the throne with the Emperor and Empress…that makes her a princess?!'

He had been playing with a princess of Hoshido?! If he wasn't being forced down by the guard's lance, Jakob would've punched himself for his stupidity.

The scary man leant down and whispered something in the Emperor's ear, who peered down at Jakob and nodded.

'They're going to kill me, aren't they. Is this my fate, Moon Goddess?'

"Do you know why you're here, child?" The Emperor inquired in perfect English, shocking Jakob that he nearly fell forward.

'The Emperor speaks English?! Then I can explain myself!'

"I-I do not, Your Imperial Majesty." Jakob bowed low, hoping his good manners would win him points.

"My retainer, Saizo and his son, Kaze, tell me you were attacking Princess Kamui." Sumeragi gestured to the girl, and Jakob felt a small tinge of joy at finally knowing her name.

'Kamui…it suits her well.'

Princess Kamui called out to her father, but he held a hand up to silence her.

"I wish to hear the truth first from your mouth, child. Explain what you were doing in the castle gardens with my daughter and why a Nohrian boy is in Hoshido."

All eyes in the room turned to Jakob, and he had to take a few deep breaths to compose himself.

"I was traveling across Nohr, and ended up passing over the Bottomless Canyon. I had no intention of crossing into Hoshido, but some locals must've mistaken me for an enemy. They knocked me out and I guess they were planning on taking me to the courts when I came to. I panicked and fled from my captors and ended up in the peach orchards. It was purely an accident, and I never held any ill intent towards the Princess. She offered me some food and we played catch before your retainer appeared." He bowed low once again, his palms flat on the ground. "That is the complete truth, Your Imperial Majesty." Then he glanced up at Kamui. "And…I ask that you allow me to stay in your kingdom since I have no family in Nohr."

The Emperor appraised him for a moment before turning to Kamui and asking her something. She nodded animatedly and pulled out a peach from her inner sleeve.

'She actually kept that?'

"My daughter has confirmed your story and even shown proof…despite knowing better than to spoil her dinner." Sumeragi smiled at the last part, wagging his finger at his smiling daughter. "So I believe you, child. But your situation has let me know we need to increase security around the castle." He glanced over to Saizo who bowed in apology.

"Thank you, Your Imperial Majesty." Jakob replied stiffly, still sensing something in the Emperor's tone.

"However," Sumeragi continued, confirming his suspicions. "are you aware of the current relationship between Nohr and Hoshido?"

"Yes, the royal family has suffered many deaths, and the king is too preoccupied with that to focus on the rebellions within his own kingdom. Thus, the rebels have invaded Hoshido several times to raid from the villages."

"Then you can understand why I must send you back to Nohr." Jakob's heart dropped at his words. "Though I believe your story, you may be trying to deceive me. The rebels we have dealt with were not above using children as decoys."

"But-!"

"Like I said, I believe you, but you know I have to think of my people first. And even if you aren't a decoy, the Nohrian rebels have affected enough of my people to make them detest everyone from that kingdom. If I allow you to stay, my people will not make it easy for you. So I believe it is best you return to Nohr post haste."

'No…' He curled his hands into fists but held his tongue. 'The Moon Goddess led me here for a reason, and there…there is nothing left for me in Nohr. Nothing but bitter memories and pain. I promised Zero I would fulfill my promise and I cannot face him until I have!'

With new resolve, Jakob looked back up at the throne, ready to plead his case when he noticed Kaze-who had suddenly appeared-lean over and whisper something in Kamui's ear. Her eyes widened and she rushed to her father's side, shouting something with such intensity. The Emperor stuttered, placing his hands on her shoulders and apparently trying to reason with her. But she kept shouting and pointing to Jakob, tears springing to her eyes. Sumeragi went silent before turning to the Empress who had been silent this whole time. She looked at Jakob with eyes that held much wisdom and smiled softly. Mikoto then placed a hand on her husband's shoulder and whispered something to him. Sumeragi immediately glanced down at Jakob, who was sweating bullets in anticipation, before nodding. That gesture made Kamui jump for joy, and she threw her arms around her father, who smiled and held her close.

"Child," Sumeragi's voice boomed, making Jakob jump a little. "My daughter claims that you promised to be her friend, and breaking that promise is on the grounds for high treason." Mikoto chuckled behind her hand at that. "And my wife, Empress Mikoto, has informed me that you have a future in this kingdom and will be a great asset to us. And her visions have never led me astray, so...I have decided to let you stay in Castle Shirasagi as my honored guest."

Of all the answers Jakob expected, this was one he never thought of.

"You mean….I can stay." His throat closed up as a glow of hope began to shine in his chest.

"Yes, child." Sumeragi smiled, stroking Kamui's hair. "And it is my honor to welcome you to the Kingdom of Hoshido."

Jakob wanted to cry, this turn of events like a dream. But he just bowed deeply and thanked the Emperor for his kindness. Then he glanced over at Kamui who was beaming ear to ear and he felt his heart flutter again.

"Now, child. Forgive my rudeness, but I never asked your name."

"My name? Oh, it's Ja-." He stopped before he could finish, his voice freezing in his throat. Jakob was the name of the abandoned aristocrat hated for who he was and was not. The name of a boy who was damned since his birth and had no direction in life.

He wasn't that boy anymore.

He then thought back on a time when Zero was teaching him to play cards. He was telling him what each card represented but one always stood out to him.

A card that didn't belong in a particular deck and was considered extremely harmful in most card games. Yet, if used properly, it was the greatest trump of them all. And he was ready to start a new hand.

"Joker." He declared, his voice filled with new confidence. "My name is Joker."

* * *

After his audience with the Emperor, Joker was taken to the baths and cleaned from head to toe. He couldn't remember the last time someone had bathed him so the servants' pampering unnerved him. After he was dried off, he was given a black robe-like outfit to wear. It was made of cotton and felt very light against his skin. Joker liked it quite a bit.

Even if he wasn't wearing pants.

Feeling refreshed, Joker slid the shogi door open and found a blue-haired woman with an x-shaped scar on her face waiting for him.

"Hello, Joker." She greeted in accented English. "My name is Reina, one of Empress Mikoto's retainers. She has asked me to take care of you and teach you about Hoshido." Reina, despite her appearance, spoke in a motherly tone and Joker felt somewhat at ease with her.

"Thank you, Ms. Reina." He bowed before clearing his throat. "Um, then could you tell me what I'm wearing?"

"That is a yukata. It is a lighter version of the kimono and is typical worn during warmer seasons and as sleepwear." She answered with a smile, walking down the hallway with Joker trailing behind her.

"Is the kimono something girl's wear?" He thought back to what Kamui was wearing.

"No, but kimono are mostly worn by nobles and upper class citizens since they are very intricate and expensive." Reina peeked down at Joker before a smile formed across her face. "There are various types of kimonos though. For example, Princess Kamui was wearing a junihitoe, a multi-layer kimono. It's quite beautiful right?"

"Yeah, she is beautiful-I mean, the kimono is beautiful!" Joker's cheeks flushed a dark red at his slip up but Reina didn't say anything, though her grin had increased tenfold.

Soon the hallway lead out to one of the inner gardens and Reina invited him to sit next to her on the porch. Joker tried to look for the moon, but from their position, he couldn't see it.

"So," He started, kicking his feet back and forth. "I know about the Emperor and Empress, but what about the royal children? Do they get along well?" Joker thought back on the Nohrian siblings and how the concubine wars had led to some of their deaths. "Do they all genuinely love each other?"

"They all get along splendidly." Reina confirmed, a thoughtful smile on her face. "There is the High Prince, Ryouma, who is 19. He is dutiful and works hard to be worthy of his father's throne, but he always makes sure to spend time with his siblings. Next is Princess Hinoka who is 13 and is working to be a Pegasus rider. She is more a warrior than a princess, but her heart is in the right place. Then we have Prince Takumi who is nine and is always trying to prove himself to his family. Though he hates to admit it, the prince is quite the momma's boy. Finally, there is Princess Sakura who is seven and is extremely shy but loves to help people. I think she will make a fine healer one day."

"I see." Joker nodded, now placing names to faces. "What…what about Princess Kamui? What can you tell me about her?" He hoped his tone didn't sound too desperate.

"Hmmm." Reina tapped her chin in thought. "She is ten years old and third in line for the throne. And you probably know this from your encounter, but Princess Kamui is friendly with everyone she meets. That sweet girl always sees the good in people and tries to make everyone feel loved, but that trait makes her very naïve and will cause her pain in the future since there are many who take advantage of that."

Joker knew of the types of people Reina was referring to and felt a fire burn in his chest at the thought of someone hurting Kamui. In that one meeting, she had made him feel special and important; Joker knew he had to return the favor in some way.

"Ms. Reina, will you teach me how to speak Japanese? If I am to live here, I would like to communicate with everyone."

"That is what I'm here for." She nodded, pleased with the determined glaze in his eyes. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes…could you teach me how to fight? I want to be able to protect the ones I care about instead of running away."

"That I can do too." Reina smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "We shall start first thing tomorrow."

* * *

On his first day of training, Reina had started him off with basic martial arts. And, being a good teacher, she also incorporated his Japanese lessons into it, teaching him attack stances and basic commands in the native language.

"Very good. You're a fast learner." Reina would praise him every day, but Joker would just nod, his drive coming from his intention to come through on his promise to Zero. The Moon Goddess had led him here to start anew and Joker intended on doing his best to be strong. However, he hadn't seen the moon since his arrival. He knew it was out, but not matter what he did, Joker could never find it.

Maybe it was hiding from him.

After his training and lessons, Joker would wander around the castle, taking in the beautiful sights, smelling the fresh air,….hoping to run into Princess Kamui. Every time he saw her, Joker would feel at peace. He couldn't explain it but he never wanted to lose that feeling. And when he found her, Kamui always greeted him with a smile and a hug. And it made his chest warm as she tried to talk to him in English, knowing that she was also making an effort to communicate with him made him feel special.

Together, they would play in the peach orchards, doing cartwheels and playing tag. And when they would tire themselves out, Kamui took his hands in hers and kissed his scars, both the new and old ones, with such tenderness. Though there was still a language barrier, Joker knew she was telling him she was proud of his progress. Then, she would make him lay his head on her lap and she would sing to him in her sweet voice, lulling him to sleep.

"When you learn Japanese," Kamui told him once, speaking slowly in heavily accented English. "Please sing to me. Promise?"

If she desired it, he would climb the highest mountain in Hoshido and personally arm wrestle all the kitsune if it so pleased her. So, in addition to his other lessons, Reina added vocal exercises to the mix.

"Music is very important in Hoshidan culture." She explained to him while watching him do 50 sets of push-ups. "All nobles are required to learn an instrument and be able to sing well."

"And did you have to learn something too?" Joker panted in broken Japanese, sweat dripping down his face and his now-shoulder length hair sticking to his skin.

"Of course. All retainers must be able to entertain their liege should the situation call for it."

The gears in Joker's head began to turn as she talked about the retainer/liege relationship.

"Um, would you mind me asking about what a retainer does exactly?"

"They are hand-picked by a prince or princess when they turn 14." Reina bent down to straighten Joker's posture before continuing. "A retainer is required to serve their liege at the cost of their own life and will be at their side for the rest of their days."

"Hmm." Joker nodded, finally finishing his sets. "By the way, Reina, what kind of warrior are you?" He gestured to her armor.

"Me? I'm a Kinshi Knight." She smiled at the mention of her title and held a hand out for him. "Would you like to meet her?"

"Meet 'who'?" Joker asked, taking his teacher's hand and following after her.

She led him to the stables and walked up to a large bird with thick, white wings and long tail feathers. At the sight of her rider, the Kinshi flapped her wings and nuzzled against Reina's outstretched hand.

"This is Akane, my partner and best friend." She cooed, rubbing her face against the Kinshi's cheek. "She has been with me since the beginning."

"Wow…" Jakob marveled at the beautiful creature, used to the scaly wyverns of Nohr. "Can I pet her?"

"I'm sorry, Joker, but Kinshi refused to be touched by anyone but their riders." She explained, turning back to her disappointed pupil. "And to become a rider, the Kinshi must choose you first, not the other way around."

As she led him back out the stables, Joker kept glancing back at the large bird, thinking back on his dreams of flying one day. Granted these fantasies were made when he was still traveling in Nohr, desperate to fly away from his problems and be free. But now, Joker wanted to fly so he could see the moon up close and maybe meet the Moon Goddess and thank her for giving him this chance at a new beginning.

"Reina, I think I would like to become a Kinshi Knight." He declared, that glow of determination returning to his eyes. "Will you teach me?"

His teacher smiled and patted his back.

"It would be my pleasure. But first, you must choose a weapon."

* * *

"Kinshi Knights fight with two kinds of weapons," Reina explained, taking him to the castle armory and pointing to the weapons on the walls. "They are Yumis and Naginata."

The sight of the archer's bows on the wall instantly reminded Joker of Zero and he found himself grabbing one before he knew it.

"Hmm. Interesting choice. We haven't had an archer in the Kinshi Knights before." Reina was pleased with his decision and her compliment made him puff his chest out a bit.

"Then I will be the first." He boldly announced, taking the practice quiver and arrows she handed to him.

"Let's take you to the practice grounds then so you can get started."

"Is there anyone else who uses Yumis?" Joker asked, a skip in his step to be learning his big brother's craft.

"Well, I know Empress Mikoto is quite a proficient archer and is teaching Prince Takumi in her spare time. Both the Emperor and High Prince are samurais and use swords; Hinoka is training with the Naginata, and Princess Kamui will be learning swordsmanship soon."

Joker thought of his friend fighting on the battlefield one day and made a vow right then to be the one fighting alongside her.

The teacher and pupil soon reached the training grounds and Reina prepared the targets one by one.

"Alright, Joker." She called out from the sidelines. "Let me see what you got!"

Joker nodded and strung a bow up like he'd seen Zero do millions of times and fired at the target, knowing it was his time to shine.

The bow flopped to the ground not even a foot away, and Reina laughed silently at Joker's vexed expression.

"We have a long way to go, Joker! Try again!"

* * *

Now that he had a position in mind, Joker would spend hours, in and out of his lessons, at the archery range. His hands had a new layer of calluses but his aim was also getting better. Joker's Japanese was starting to improve too and he found he could eat with chopsticks without dropping anything anymore.

He wondered where this sudden burst of skill came from since he never had it back in Nohr. But, as Joker looked up and saw Reina's smiling face and Kamui applauding him from her perch behind a tree, he realized the Nohrians never encouraged him like the Hoshidans did. And while Emperor Sumeragi was right in that some people weren't fond of Joker's presence, they never hurt or ridiculed him like the Nohrians did. As for the royal family, they had been very good to him, even inviting him to eat at their table during meals. Ryouma treated Joker like a little brother and would give him extra helpings of mango when no one was looking; Hinoka would give him pointers about taming wild life and invitations to join her on a Pegasus ride; Takumi, with a new 'rival', would challenge Joker to archer showdowns but he cheered for him every time he made a target, and Sakura, though she was shy of him at first, was always ready to tend to his injuries and shared his love for fruit. As for the Emperor and Empress, they treated him like their own. When he would come to breakfast, Sumeragi would pat his head while Mikoto would hold him close and ask if he slept well. Joker truly felt like Moon Goddess had blessed him and maybe that is why she has disappeared from his eyesight. Maybe he had to prove he was using his gift well and then she would show herself again.

And as for Kamui, well, they grew closer and closer every day.

"Alright, Joker." Reina smiled as he finished his Shamisen lessons. "You are free to go." Then she leaned in close and whispered, "I've made Princess Kamui wait long enough anyways."

Joker laughed and bowed to his teacher before scurrying out of the room and held his arms out for Kamui's usual greeting of jumping into his arms; He had gotten better at catching her and remaining upright over the past nine months.

"Joker!" She cheered, bouncing up and down in glee. "Are you done with your lessons for the day?"

"Yes I am, Princess." He grinned, happy that he was finally able to communicate with her. "What shall we do today?"

"I want to show you how good I've gotten at the sword! Papa is so proud of me!"

"Are you able to dodge arrows?"

Kamui paused at that, scratching her head.

"Um, no?"

"Then we shall spar when you learn how too." He laughed as she playfully punched him on the arm. "Oh, alright. Let's see how wonderful you are, Princess."

She cheered at that and led him to the royal training ground where her practice sword was located. Joker sat on the porch while Kamui dug her sword out of the wooden box and stood in the middle of the dirt grounds.

"Um, Princess?" Joker called out, pointing to her junihitoe. "Shouldn't you wear your training clothes?"

"This will be quick," She replied without missing a beat, and Joker knew she was in for a lecture from Yukimura. Compared to Hinoka, Kamui was a girly princess yet she also liked to play in the dirt and still ran around the castle without shoes. Joker just sighed and rubbed his neck, putting his full attention on Kamui.

And as she began, his breath caught in his throat.

Though her technique was still sloppy and her hand twitched at certain points, Kamui moved as swift as the wind that blew around them. Her hair fluttered in the breeze and her colorful layers of kimono fanned around her like wings. Coupled with her bare feet, she really did look like a forest dweller.

"Ta-da!" She ended her presentation with a bow and Joker quickly returned to Earth and applauded her performance.

"Well done, Princess!" He grinned, strolling up to her and patting her hair. "Soon you will be the greatest sword wielder in all of Hoshido."

"Oh I doubt that." She rolled her eyes before pointing to her cheek. "You forgot something."

"What?" Joker scrambled his brain for what she was referring to but came up blank. "What am I forgetting?"

"Oh you know what I'm talking about." Kamui giggled, bouncing on her heels. "Shall I give you a reminder?"

Before Joker could react, she leaned over and pecked his cheek, making his stomach do a somersault.

"O-Oh!" He instantly recalled how Kamui always kissed his cheek after he performed his archery skills for her. "Why do you always kiss me? It is not proper for a princess."

"But I kiss everyone I care about." Her innocent reasoning made his heart pound in his chest, but it also made him a tad disappointed. If she did this to her family, then it meant her kisses weren't special for him.

Shaking his childish jealously out of his head, he returned the gesture, noting how soft her skin was. Pulling away slightly, he gazed in her sunset eyes and wondering if his kisses flustered her too.

But Kamui just grinned and place her sword back in its place before grabbing Joker's hand and leading him away. Kamui skipped as she walked, humming a tune under her breath and swinging their hands back and forth. Joker always loved holding her hand, feeling her smooth palm against his rough one. He tightened his hold and nearly tripped when she squeezed his hand in return.

'This feeling….I don't understand it…'

Kamui led him to their usual place under the peach tree and sat on the ground, patting her lap expectantly. Smiling, Joker nodded and rested his head on her lap, his eyes fluttering close as she began to run her fingers through his hair and began to sing.

 _I fell in love with you… just how long has it been since then?_

 _My feelings have only been getting stronger_

 _I wonder… have you realized how I feel?_

 _Even though I've never said a word…_

Her voice always calmed him and he wished he could hear it for the rest of his life.

 _It's like snowflakes drifting… gently…_

… _continuing to pile up higher and higher_

Kamui, since the moment they meet, always greeted him warmly and was never afraid to show him genuine affection. Not even Zero, as important as he was to Joker, gave him much affection. There always seemed to be a certain line between them, perhaps due to Zero hoping to save him from his fate. Kamui never looked at him as pitiable though, but instead as a strong person.

 _Hold me tight… if this is how it feels…_

Once he had asked Reina what Kamui said to the Emperor to change his mind. She smiled at him for a moment before saying, "She said you had traveled far and had the most beautiful hands. She claimed you had the soul of the samurai and that you promised to be her friend. And, as a samurai, breaking that promise would be the same as treason." His heart warmed at Reina's explanation, in awe that Kamui automatically believed in him.

Sleep washing over him, Joker peeked up at Kamui one last time, her eyes shining back at him with all the warmth in the world. He never wanted to be without her presence again. And as his eyes fluttered shut, Joker realized what this feeling meant.

 _Hold me tight… so I won't be cold anymore._

Joker was in love with her.

* * *

"Joker," Kamui's gentle voice coaxed him out of his slumber. Slowly, he opened his eyes and was surprised to see the nighttime sky above him.

"Oh my," He groaned, rubbing his eyes. "How long were we out here?"

"A few hours." She giggled, caressing his cheek. "We'll probably be in for a scolding but you looked so peaceful that I couldn't help but let you sleep."

Joker smiled at her consideration and inspected the starry sky, sighing in defeat when he couldn't find the moon.

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm just….I haven't seen the moon since I came to Hoshido."

"Why are you looking for it?"

"Well, when I was traveling, I would use the moon as guidance. A friend once told me a goddess lived on the moon and she would guide you to your destiny and grant your wishes."

"And did she grant your wish?"

"I think so," He laughed, Kamui's smiling face coming into view. "I think-." Joker's eyes widened as he gazed at the Princess's face. Her white hair glowed in the moonlight and the stars seemed to dance around her head.

'A beautiful woman who loves and protects everyone' Zero had told him that fateful night. 'She never makes you feel alone, and I always felt at ease knowing she was watching over me.'

It hit Joker like a ton of bricks and he immediately sat up.

"You're the-Ack!" Both children cried out as their foreheads banged together. "Ah, shit!"

"Owowowow!" Kamui winced, rubbing the red mark on her forehead. "What are you talking about, Joker?"

His pain fading away, Joker beheld the princess once again, marveling how she shone in the night.

'Of course I couldn't see you in the sky. You've been down here next to me this whole time.' Joker smiled as a tear fell down his cheek. 'I found you.'

"J-Joker?" Kamui reached out and wiped his cheek. "Are you alright?"

"Princess Kamui," He got on both his knees and bowed low, surprising her. "I have a request for you."

"W-What is it?"

"Please, when the time comes," He beamed up at her, a flame burning in his eyes. "Let me be your retainer!"

* * *

Reina watched Joker train day in and day out, his flame of determination pushing him further and further. Her pupil grew stronger every day, and it brought a tear to her eyes to see him grow from the scared boy he was when first arrived into a brave warrior. She would question what fueled his drive, but then Reina would see Princess Kamui waiting for him in the hallway and how Joker's eyes lit up at the sight of her. It warmed her heart to see their relationship bloom, and so she took it upon herself to watch over them from afar.

The years passed and tensions with Nohr were beginning to boil down. Many claimed it was due to Queen Arete and her 'spell' over King Garon. But no more royal children had been killed and rebellions were starting to die down. And it was during this spring waltz that Kamui became of age. Now at 16, the princess had truly blossomed into a radiant beauty who had grown out of her childish way and became a truly benevolent and wise princess. But Kamui wasn't the only one who changed. Joker had become a fine young man and one of the best Kinshi Knights in the Hoshidan army. He was loving towards the royal family, but had a bit of a sharp tongue with outsiders, perhaps a remnant of his past. But there wasn't a single objection when Kamui chose him and Kaze as her retainers on her 14th birthday, especially since Joker had proven himself to the court over and over. His long, silver hair and refined Nohrian features also attracted the eyes of many court nobles. Joker's face was the only hint that he was a foreigner since his Japanese was flawless and he had lost his Nohrian accent. Many nobles fawned over his deep, soothing voice, and not a day went by when the teenager didn't receive offer for marriage. But Joker only had eyes for the princess, and Reina could see he loved her more and more every day. Kamui still waited for him outside the training hall with a smile and a hug, but their implications had changed since childhood. Each touch and gaze held more meaning and lingered longer.

Reina sighed happily to herself, watching the two stroll towards the peach orchards hand-in-hand.

"It appears to me that the princess…may be in love with him too."

* * *

"How was your patrol today?" Kamui hummed, peering up at Joker, her head now reaching his shoulder. "Did Fujimoto act up again?"

When he was twelve, Reina said it was time for him to go out into the Kinshi pastures and see who would choose him to be their rider. Joker stood in the middle of the field, waiting for the Kinshi to approach him and hoped for a calm one like Akane. But, lo and behold, a temperamental Kinshi headbutted him from the side and Joker threatened to pluck each feather from 'it's miserable body'; they had been friends ever since.

"No, he was on his best behavior today." Joker chuckled, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "It might be because of those treats you slipped to him last night."

"Hey! That was supposed to be a secret!" She scowled, giving him a light punch on the arm. "And I had to thank him for always bring you back safely to me."

"I will always come back to you, Princess. You know that." Joker smiled, reaching out and placing a lock of her long, white hair behind her pointed ear. "I swore to remain by your side the day you made me your retainer."

"I know." She giggled as they approaching their peach tree. Kamui dusted her red furisode off before kneeling on the ground, and Jakob followed suit after taking off the outer coat of his Kinshi uniform. "I still remember what you said to me."

"You always had a wonderful memory, Princess."

"Is that supposed to be sarcasm, Joker?" She shot a glare at him before resting her head on his shoulder. "Please say it again for me."

"As you wish." Joker took her hand in his and held it over his heart. "You are my light. If you wish it, I will always act as your shadow. That's why…please let me remain by your side from now and onwards. If you didn't exist," He lifted her hand up and kissed her knuckles one by one and whispered against her soft skin. "Neither would I."

Smiling softly, Kamui nuzzled her head into his shoulder, loving every time he said those words to her.

"Thank you, Joker." She leaned up and kissed his cheek, noting how his face still flushed after all this time.

"Anything for you, my Princess."

It was silent for a while, both of them enjoying the cool breeze and each other's company.

"Joker," Kamui spoke up in a low tone. "Do you remember how every time we come out here, I would sing you to sleep?"

"Of course. I always look forward to it."

"Then, do you also remember how promised me you would return the favor one day?"

Joker laughed and nodded.

"I do, Princess Kamui. I haven't forgotten."

"Then," Kamui shifted so her head was resting on his lap. "Please, sing me to sleep."

"What would you like to hear?" He ran his fingers through her starlight hair before taking a lock in his fingers and pressing a light kiss to it. "Tell me and I shall do it."

"Sing…," She started, playing with a blade of grass. "Please sing something from the heart."

Joker nodded, thinking for a moment before singing in a soft tone.

 _Because I'll be yours alone_

 _It might sound like a line from a [story]_

 _but I ran headlong along a pitch dark road_

He thought about all the hardships he had to endure to reach this point. His parents' abandonment, the castle servants, and Zero.

 _I want to hold you until you break_

 _But for some reason my tears come pouring out_

 _I still don't understand anything_

Following Zero's advice, Joker had looked to the moon for guidance and ended up falling in love with her. But she was a princess and even though he was her retainer, could he really be with her?

Did she want him like he wanted her?

 _The reason I was born was to meet you_

 _and to keep on protecting you forever_

 _I'll make flowers bloom all around the world with my smile_

But he remembered the vow he made. When Joker finally found his happiness, he would fight to keep it. Even if Kamui wasn't in love with him, Joker wanted to spend the rest of his days at her side.

 _Because I'll be yours alone_

Because she was his moon and stars.

Because she was his light and he was her shadow.

Because he loved her

" _I love you_ " He sang into her ear, watching her sleeping face in utter bliss. "I love you with all my heart, Kamui."

She couldn't hear his confession, but he still smiled as he lent against the tree trunk and closed his eyes.

Then, as soft as a fluttering bird, Joker heard Kamui's reply.

"I love you too, Joker."

He looked down at her, finding his reflection in her beautiful sunset eyes.

"Do you truly?" His voice came out strangled as his eyes burned, not believing what he was hearing. "Are you being honest with me?"

"Yes," She reached up and cupped his face. "You are my sun, Joker. I love you." Then, Kami gently pulled his face down and connected their lips.

It was like finding the final piece of an uncompleted puzzle. His past hurts hadn't vanished but with Kamui's love, they became light scars. Tears fell from his eyes and onto her face as he placed his hands over hers. Neither of them moved as the world faded into a cloud around them and Joker felt like this was what true happiness was.

* * *

They were wed two weeks later and a huge party was thrown in their honor. Kamui was the first of her siblings to be wed, and all of the royal family gathered around the happy couple to wish them the best. During the entire ceremony, Joker never took his eyes off Kamui and she never took her eyes of him. And later that night, as they stood in Kamui's room, he pulled her close and held her hand to his face, her wedding band cold against his skin.

"We are married." He whispered, feeling like he was flying. "We are husband and wife now."

"We are." Kamui smiled, wiping his tears away while her own tears of joy ran down her face. "I love you, Joker."

"And I love you." He connected their lips and reached out to douse the lantern behind her, engulfing the room in complete darkness. Neither of them knew what they were doing, and their hands trembled as they undressed each other. The couple's faces flushed as they took in the other's bare form for the first time, and Jakob was once again reminded how beautiful Kamui was. She glowed in the dark room like the goddess she was, and he fell in love with her all over again.

"You're so beautiful." Joker breathed, easing her back onto the futon and hovering over her. Kamui smiled shyly before slowly reaching out and running her hand down his chest; Jakob gasped at the sensation and almost lost his balance.

"I'm sorry!" She apologized, about to pull her hand away when he stopped her.

"No, please…..don't stop." He whispered before reaching out and placing a trembling hand on her clavicle. "May I?"

Kamui nodded and gasped lightly as his rough hand trailed over her chest, feeling her heartbeat beneath his palm.

"Your heart is pounding."

"So is yours."

They stared at each other, frozen in place for a moment before…they both erupted into giggles. Joker buried his face against her neck and Kamui wrapped her arms tight around his shoulders as their laughter filled the room.

"I love you." Jakob kissed her neck and down her shoulder, his hands caressing her thighs.

"I love too you." Kamui wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her fingers down his back. "Never forget that, Joker. You are a brave and strong man, and I will always love you no matter what."

He thought his heart might burst as his hand wandering between her thighs and she moaned in his ears. With their chests pressed together, Joker could feel their heartbeat were in sync. He shivered as his wife's moans grew louder and he felt himself slipping into this addictive feeling.

'I can't hold myself back anymore.'

Joker laughed when he removed his fingers and she whimpered in annoyance. He lifted himself back up, discovering Kamui's eyes were half-lidded and her chest rose and fell as she panted.

'Gods, she is gorgeous.' Joker moaned, connecting their lips once again and rubbed his hips against hers.

"May I?" He asked, his voice low and thick.

"Yes." She immediately answered, burying her fingers into his hair. "Yes, my dear husband."

And hearing that, Joker lost himself completely and melted into Kamui's embrace as they finally become one in their love.

Nothing else matter now.

Nothing.

* * *

Two years later, the affairs between Nohr and Hoshido had finally healed enough for a member of the Nohrian royal family to pay them a visit. All of the royal family stood in the main courtyard of Caslte Shirisagi, waiting with baited breathe for the arrival of the Nohrian ambassador. Joker stood to his wife's right while Kaze stood to her left, prepared to defend his family in the event that this affair went south.

Then, a group on horses emerged from over the horizion and made their way towards the awaiting Hoshidan family. Joker scanned each one of their faces, ensuring that all of them were harmless, when he spotted a familiar face.

'C-Could it really be?'

"Joker?" Kamui asked as her husband slowly stepped forward before bolting into a full sprint. "Joker?!"

He never took his eye off his target, going faster and faster until-!

"ZERO!" Joker threw his arms around his brother, nearly sending the both of them to the ground.

"Jakob?!" The eye-patched man gasped before laughing and embracing him back. "What are you doing here?! And damn, you got so tall!"

"I live here!" He laughed, still in disbelief that his friend was really here. Zero seemed healthy- happier and that put the past eight years of worrying to rest. "I changed my name to Joker and I'm a member of the royal Kinshi Knights now."

"Damn! I'm proud of you." Zero patted him on the head like he did all those years ago. "And not to toot my own horn, but I've made it pretty good too. I go by Niles now." He then gestured to the blond prince on the black steed. "And this is Prince Leo, my lord and employer. He was the one who got me off the streets."

Joker immediately bowed to the prince, wondering why he suddenly thought of bread when he saw him. Prince Leo smiled in acknowledgement and gave a small bow in return.

"So~." Zero grinned, pointing over Joker's shoulder. "Who are those cuties?"

Joker beamed and turned to see Kamui walking up to them, their newborn son, Deere, in her arms.

"This is my wife and son. And Kamui, this is Niles." He smiled, watching her greet the former thief with much enthusiasm, instantly recognizing the man from her husband's stories.

Zero bowed in greeting before turning to Joker, a knowing smile on his face.

"Well done, kid." He grinned, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You kept your promise after all."

"I did, Zero." Joker nodded, wrapping an arm around Kamui's shoulder. "I really did."

At long last, the Joker had found his place in the deck.

It was right next to the Queen of Hearts.

* * *

 **A/N: I really hoped you liked it! My hands hurt from typing! Lol! So, headcanon time! Jakob's English V.A. is his Nohrian voice, and his Japanese V.A. is his Hoshidan voice. And Junichi Suwabe, Jakob's Japanese V.A., is actually a singer but I used "Kimi dake no boku de ire kara" by Gackt and "Eternal Snow" from the anime, FullMoon. Love those songs! I'll place links to those songs in my profile. Took a bit of writings liberty with them to get the mood right. And, according to Google Translate, Kamui asks Jakob who he is, to wait, and if he wants to be her friend.**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys liked it! Especially you, Kashimalin!**

 **Thank you so much for reading!**


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